I’ve got impressive tears to wear before the headache plays in unison with you like an orchestra of pain it’s my favorite instrument to play when I’m all alone lying in my bed and my underwear is best used as a blanket for my mucus while it dries from a broken night at 7am where I’ve been pretending to not miss you for all this time since Christmas. I’ve been rewriting how to say it poetically so you’d know I still care to miss you wondering if your there wondering if your presently a canvas for the streets or a spring semester devoted non-casual bookworm. The algorithm showed me your new colored red hair and I swear I wont be browsing the gram again until next year, that’s for sure, and perhaps I’ll be better then, in managing the letdown that comes between all types of screens in my life and vibrating knock knocks on my thighs on my butt on my balls on my phone and the expectations of hoping its you reaching out. wanting you to be the alert reaching out. needing you to be the voice in my mouth. because I’ve learned i’m a coward in all the ways that matters your so much braver than me and my shattered shadows put together. your much smooth and clever like a meat cleaver cutting out my heart without me even noticing til I was gone.