Nervousness seeps into me like purple hope in a jar. Its not healthy to want her this much. My body is heavy from her touch. She won’t trust the love I poured down her gates. She’s royalty and I am just a jape. She deserves a good fuck like the one I couldn’t give her. I’m not enough . And I’m stuck . living in a lot searching for her touch again. My pennies ran outta luck again. My penis can’t stay hard again. Can’t pretend the fire didn’t brim. The closet didn’t win. The fear didn’t slim passed vocal cord mountain high big game attempts to forget about the stress it takes to please her. I am a coward. I don’t share. Don’t dare embarrass my sense of man, husband, or male. Won’t ask won’t tell about the depression in my clothes and underwear. Crimes of a bed unspoken. Rather be broken , broken hearted, bomb me away than feel like I’ll never have a chance again. I go for walks everyday now because I can’t contain the stress struggling for breath within my veins. She came over yesterday evening to destroy me and patience. She said she knew not why she dropped by. And I know why. And I dropped an eye into vapor.She’s a succubus . She came in the end to finish the dead man’s chest and walk into oblivion.